Falling in Love Read online

  “Woohoo, don’t shoot. It was a joke.” When she didn’t answer and only squinted at him, Stefan sighed. “Anna came home. What about it bothers you? I thought you would jump up and down.”

  “It wasn’t a good joke.” Christine bit on her bottom lip. “Of course, I’m happy that she’s back. She’s pregnant, and that throws me. My thoughts are all over the place.”

  He stared at her as if trying to figure out what her problem was. If only she knew it herself.

  “I’m not sure I get how that’s a problem for you.”

  “Can’t you see it messes up all the plans we had? No traveling, no beach house, that kind of stuff.” Could he be that thick and not get it? Was it a man-thing?

  “I think you guys are going over the top with the friendship thing. Buying a beach house together? That’s ludicrous.”

  She mock-boxed him on his chest. “Why didn’t you say something? You even joined us looking at places.”

  “Because I thought you guys would get over it soon enough and looking at places was always good fun for a weekend.”

  Another baby-induced obstacle struck her. The list got longer and longer. “We can’t go away over Christmas.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “We can’t leave Anna at home in her condition.”

  Stefan shoved his hands through his hair and shook his head. “I don’t understand you girls. Pregnancy is not an illness. She planned to stay at home and work on her exams. Does she now need babysitters for that? I wanted to take you up north over Christmas. There is a whole group of us, and we can all stay at Justin’s parent’s beach house.”

  “Justin who?”

  “You don’t know him. He’s a friend of a friend.”

  “I thought the plan was to spend time after Christmas with your parents in Pauanui. When did that change?”

  “We’d better wait. You’ll meet them early enough. They are running out of space; the entire family is coming together between Christmas and New Year.”

  How stupid was he taking her for? The whole family comes together and there’s no space for the only son and his girlfriend? She smelled a rat, and it was a big one.

  “Admit it, you’re afraid to present me to your precious family. I’m glad I’m still good enough for an afternoon quickie.”

  “It sounds terrible when you say it like this. I just don’t want to ruin Christmas for everyone, including us. You’ll meet my parents, and everything will be fine. It’s a matter of timing. My auntie from Christchurch is bringing along a distant cousin god-knows how many times removed. They all think I should marry her and combine the assets of two families this way. Marry her, ha; I don’t even know the girl. I won’t let my parents force me into something I don’t want to do.”

  “You’re turning thirty-one soon, an excellent time to settle down. Why don’t you spend Christmas with your parents and check out the bride-to-be? I’ll stay here with Anna. I’m sure the others will too. Problem solved.”

  Christine wouldn’t let him know how much it would shake her if he’d marry someone else. She hadn’t seen that coming. It was easier to perceive him as a flighty Casanova with too much money than a man who tried to get away from an unwanted marriage.

  He rolled his eyes and exasperation was written all over his face. “You guys have to grow up. This girly Famous Four business is brilliant when you are in fifth grade and dream of conquering the world with your cuteness and cunning. But you are grown-ups now.”

  “Pardon me? You think our friendship is childish?”

  “Not your friendship. I have good friends too but that doesn’t mean we’re factoring each other into every aspect of our futures. The way I see it you guys are afraid to let go. Don’t you trust yourself to stay friends when you all go your separate ways?”

  Shocked that he dared to question her friendship with the girls, she closed down.

  “You just don’t understand. Maybe your bending-over-backward-women are not so complicated. You should spend more time with them.”

  He stared at her and opened his mouth to say something just as they heard guests arrive.

  “Later,” she said and left the room.

  Chapter Eight

  Black storm clouds on the horizon threatened to put a wet end to the scorching summer day. For now, though, it was still muggy and hot. Thea parked her car, got Barbara out of the children’s seat, and grabbed her small hand as she hurried with her daughter across the large parking lot, out of the blistering sun and into the supermarket.

  Hot gusts of wind kicked up dust and dry leaves and chased them in twists and twirls into half-dried up box hedges separating rows of empty parking spots.

  Inside the shop, she pulled a Kleenex out of her bag and wiped the pearls of sweat off her forehead. At least, the shop had air conditioning so they both could cool down. She was in no hurry and didn’t mind the child stopping at every display stand. She didn’t even mind Barbara’s demands for strawberries in the vegetable department, donuts from the bakery, and sweets from the bins placed right in the middle of the aisle so kids could see them and pester their parents.

  Suddenly Barbara tore away from her hand and ran to a display of chocolate Father Christmases. Thea turned to grab her daughter just as another customer ran his trolley into her and kicked over her handbag. Everything spilled over the linoleum floor. Everything. From the purse to her lipstick, from pens to sunglasses and her emergency tampons.

  “Watch where you’re going! You could at least apologize, klutz.” Furious with the man who ignored her, she looked up for her daughter. Where had Barbara gone?

  “Barbara, come back.” Her voice tipped into impatience. She bent down and scooped her possessions into her bag, the heat of embarrassment shooting into her face.

  “Barbara!” The child was still not responding. She shot up and almost pushed over her shopping trolley. In the next aisle, a child whimpered. She rushed toward the sound, only to find a mother comforting her infant.

  Barbara was gone.

  She called out, again and again, ignoring the curious glances of other shoppers. Her breathing came short and quick as ice-cold fingers of fear clutched at her heart. Twice she searched the aisles, she even looked behind the bread counter. She half ran, looking around with wild eyes. Barbara was nowhere.

  Could it be she’d left the supermarket? Thea left her trolley behind and ran out of the shop. But the car park was deserted. The occupants of the few cars must have cooled down inside the supermarket as she had.

  When she came back inside, Barbara was still nowhere to be seen. Only annoying Christmas songs blared through the shop’s speaker system as if everyone was in a merry mood. She was far from it. Someone should turn off the irritating music. She turned around with tears in her eyes and her heart pounded in her chest.

  “Barbara!” Her voice had become a loud screech now. This couldn’t be happening.

  From the corner of her eyes, she saw a tall man coming out of the public toilet, holding the hand of her daughter who danced at his side.

  “Barbara.” Thea sank to her knees and pulled her daughter into her arms. “Don’t you ever run away from me again. You gave mummy a big fright.”

  “Marcus said he’d help me find you. We looked everywhere. Even in the toilet.” The child clasped her arms around her neck and gave her a wet kiss. Only then was Thea able to remove the grip of terror with a shaky laugh. Barbara was okay. She’d been hysterical for nothing. A slow smile grew on her face and painted a faint glow on her pale cheeks.

  “Marcus?” She rose and stared at the man who towered at least a head above her. “How can I thank you?” He looked friendly, even gorgeous maybe if she’d ever allowed thoughts of that nature to enter her awareness. In his well-cut grey tailored suit, he could well be an Italian hero who jumped straight out of a Fellini movie to carry her out of the Trevi Fountain.

  She blushed and butterflies tingled in her tummy when she imagined the scene. But when he took off his sunglasses and
pierced her with cold, light blue eyes, that romantic image exploded into a million atoms. Shivers rippled down her spine. Stunned, she stared at him open-mouthed.

  “Marcus Shilling, at your service. There is no need to thank me. I’m glad I could be of service. This little darling,” he ruffled Barbara’s hair, and the child giggled, “went on an adventure and panicked when she couldn’t find you.”

  Despite the caring words, his voice had this detached tone she’d often noticed with people who tried hard to show they like children but were relieved when those pesky critters moved along with their parents.

  “Thank you, nonetheless. Didn’t you hear me calling out?”

  “Sorry Mrs…?”

  “Cameron, Thea Cameron.”

  “It must have been drowned out by the music. They shouldn’t have the music that loud in the shops. I could have kidnapped her, and you would have been none the wiser.” He picked an imaginary piece of fluff from his sleeve. “Better take more care next time. At this age, you can’t take your eyes off the little ones.” He tipped his head and walked away, not even waiting for her to thank him.

  She stared after him. What just happened? Still dazed, she lifted Barbara into the children’s seat of the trolley. She leaned on the trolley handle for support. Her legs still shaking, she took a few deep breaths and steadied herself after the emotional rollercoaster of the last ten minutes.

  “Are you angry, Mummy?” Barbara put her hand on Thea’s cheek.

  “No, baby, I’m not angry with you. I got a terrible fright when I couldn’t find you. But it’s all better now.”

  Still recycling the moments of fear and terror in her mind, she hurried to the deli section, got a tub each of potato and noodle salad for tonight’s barbecue, and rushed through the checkout.

  At her car, she strapped Barbara into the car seat and was about to slip behind the wheel when she saw at the other end of the car park Graham standing with Marcus Shilling and another man who looked like the klutz that had run into her. They seemed to have an amicable conversation. Then Marcus Shilling pointed to her and Graham marched over to her.

  “I just heard you lost Barbara at the supermarket.” The almost triumphant, cynical undertone of his remark took her by surprise, and her mind drowned in an onslaught of suspicions.

  “That was Marcus Shilling… the client my father talked about… the drug dealer…” She paused, shocked by the thoughts that piled up in her mind. She squinted at him. “You’ve set me up.”

  Her heart seemed to stop beating and a piercing pain shot through her chest. She clutched her chest and gasped. Graham looked at her, his smile falling from his lips. She caught a quick, calculating gleam before it vanished.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” He grabbed her arms and shook her hard. “Don’t make a scene here in public. You’re embarrassing yourself… and me.”

  He let go of her arms, and she fell back in her car seat, dizzy and fighting for breath.

  “I can’t even leave you alone with Barbara for five minutes.” He paused and looked at her as if he wanted to brand her brain with his will. “Isn’t it frightening how quickly she could vanish?” He snapped his fingers. “Just like that. Marcus could have been a kidnapper or a killer, and that would’ve been the end of that.

  This was it. She was caught and powerless.

  “I’ll see you in ten minutes at the girls’ villa. Be careful and don’t be late.”

  She nodded and watched him swing into his car and leave the parking lot. She didn’t move. Her hands clasped around the wheel in a vice-like grip until her knuckles turned white. Her mind shouted commands willing her body to follow. Breathe…! Breathe? It was more like fighting for every gasp. Calm down. Breathe. Lightheaded from the lack of oxygen she banged her head against the steering wheel.

  “Mummy, I’m scared.” Barbara’s frightened voice cut through the fog in her head. She took another deep breath. And then another one. And another one.

  “Mummy is fine. I had a sudden ouchy, but I’m better now. Don’t be afraid.”

  She turned the key in the ignition, switched on the radio, and slid Barbara’s favorite Thomas The Tank Engine tape into the recorder slot. That’ll distract her. While the car filled with sounds of trains hooting and engines talking to each other, Thea fought hard to regain clarity of mind.

  Graham had threatened her. Never in her life had she been surer about something. He’d showed her what he was capable of. Not only that, but he’d also showed her he had people to help him. His sanctimonious expression of care didn’t fool her for a second. He had her where he wanted her.

  Graham might as well have gagged her, swaddled her in plastic sheets, secured everything with duct tape, and chained her to a concrete block. He’d showed his colors, and they were black and sinister. He was a criminal, no better than Shilling, and whomever else he was in cahoots with. And he was dangerous. She had to be careful, smart, and not give anything away.

  He’d go to the barbecue tonight thinking he’d broken her. And in a way he had. He’d broken her naiveté. Most of all, though, he’d broken her trust and whatever smidgeon of love or compassion she’d held for him. From now on, she’d be wary of him. He had to believe he had won. The worst though, she couldn’t tell anybody. Not even her friends. She had to find a way to exist in this relationship or Barbara, her friends, or her parents would be in danger.

  The day had turned into a nightmare of biblical proportions. She had to dig deep to get her composure back so nobody would guess what had gone on between her and Graham. Half an hour later she met Graham at the girls’ villa and together with him and three-year-old Barbara on her arm, they strolled into the garden.

  “Hey, guys? Where is everyone? I brought the salad for tonight.”

  “Coming. Oh, Barbara, gosh, she’s grown so much in the months I was away.” Anna walked up to the toddler on Thea’s arm and nudged her soft cheek with her nose. “Have you forgotten Auntie Anna?”

  Barbara gurgled with pleasure and reached out with her little plump hands. Anna ruffled Barbara’s hair and laughed.

  “Thea, she is even more gorgeous than she was when I left.”

  Anna reached for Barbara and took her off Thea. The soft sheen of love in Anna’s eyes touched Thea. She’d never thought Anna would be the motherly type, but her friend might surprise everyone. Once you hold your baby in your arms for the first time and hear his first cry, everything changes. You’re no longer the person you were. Motherlove kicks in at the moment the little bundle rests in your arms.

  Chapter Nine

  “What’s the matter with you, Thea? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” Claudia passed her friend a glass of wine. “You can’t get sick two days before Christmas.”

  “I’m not getting sick. I had a fright, that’s all.”

  “What happened?” Christine, who sat on the porch stairs, pointed to the space next to her. “Let’s hear it.”

  “I lost Barbara in the supermarket and for at least ten minutes I worked myself into a major panic.” Thea grabbed the eggnog and took the offered seat. “There’s nothing more to it. I’d rather hear from Anna.” Thea took a sip of the eggnog and glanced at Anna with expectation. “You dropped quite a bomb on us with your pregnancy. I couldn’t get it out of my head all day.”

  “If you want my opinion, the easiest option is having an abortion. However, it’s Anna’s decision.” Christine shrugged her shoulders.

  Thea stroked over Anna’s belly. “An abortion? No! Look at Barbara. I couldn’t imagine life without my daughter. There is a little being growing in her tummy.” Her face left no doubt how appalled she was by her friend’s suggestion.

  Christine turned to Thea and raised her eyebrows. “Don’t you see how having your daughter changed your life? We all love Barbara. You gave up your dream of becoming a teacher for her. You never even started university.” Christine paused. “It’s not a secret that I don’t like Graham. You deserve better. One day he’ll leave you and you’
ll end up an unqualified woman with no future, forever dependent on your husband’s handouts.”

  Thea trembled under Christine’s onslaught. “You may not believe it, but I’ll never regret having Barbara. I know you don’t like Graham, but I would do it all over again only to have my daughter.”

  Claudia felt sorry for Thea who looked hurt. Was it the end of any career prospects for a woman to have a child? She wasn’t so sure. “Leaving school, finishing university, and starting one’s career is the traditional sequence. But I’m sure there are other pathways to a rewarding life and if we put our heads together, we’ll find them.”

  Anna looked shocked by Christine’s suggestion to abort the life that grew inside her. She’d instinctively folded her hands over her belly as if to protect her unborn child. “I’ve thought about it a lot, as you can imagine. Ending the pregnancy is out of the question. I’ll find a way. I’m not the first student who falls pregnant and won’t be the last. I didn’t plan the pregnancy, but that doesn’t mean it was a mistake. It’s my time to become a mother. I will finish my law degree whenever the time is right.”

  Claudia was more than doubtful that Anna’s journey as a working young mother would run as smoothly as Anna made out. She still remembered the fatigue she’d witnessed in young mothers during her training at the maternity ward. “You have your hands full with finishing your studies, looking for work, and finding a day-care for the baby. There’s no need to leave the villa in a hurry. It wouldn’t hurt to apply for welfare benefit at least for the first months.”

  “I don’t want to dump the responsibility on you guys. I’m going to look for a place big enough for the baby and me. It means it will take a little longer to become a lawyer. That’s not the end of the world.”

  “You’ve given it much thought.” Thea wrung her hands. “It doesn’t mean our friendship will fizzle out. Just like I spent more time here with you guys than at home, so can Anna. You guys were brilliant when Babs was just born, and I almost went crazy. We can support Anna in the same way.”